Why Do Good Girls Fall For Bad Boys (article I wrote for COEUS Magazine – September Issue)
Have you ever wondered why women love bad boys? What’s so appealing about a “bad boy? Is the rebellious, brash, cockiness a turn-on? He definitely colors outside of the lines. He is normally way over the edge, bordering on rude and doesn’t seem to give a damn about anyone but himself – what exactly do women see in a guy like that? Why do the “bad boys” always seem to get the ladies?
Good Girls Bad Boys
Some people would say, women that like “Bad Boys” just have Daddy issues; but some women I know are rebels also and would be bored out of their minds with a regular guy. Let’s talk about the ladies that otherwise live a normal life inside the lines. I have always believed that people want what they can’t have; whether its entrance to a VIP place, the latest designer fashions, the nicest car, biggest home and the “Bad Boy” that they can’t tame!
Bad boys just simply don’t give a damn. You can take it or leave it. That’s one reason why they fare well with women. If a woman says no, who cares? They move on to the next one, and they do it with the same verve and maverick attitude as they did the last one. Bad boys don’t care if he is your Mr. Right or your Mr. Right now or if he is either. That’s indifference.
Women don’t dig men that are pushovers. I once heard a woman say, “I can’t stand a man that I can manipulate or control, but let me find a man like that; (manipulative and controlling) and I fall in love.” Contrary to the belief women like men they can read and men that provide them with a sense of security, women actually LOVE to guess! It is challenging for them, and it is one of the elements of the bad boy that keeps them coming back for more! Essentially the confident, cocky bad boy image rubs off a little bit on her – and she laps it up!
These rebel men are always testing the boundaries and pushing the envelope when it comes to their life – and women can’t get enough of it. They find it intriguing. And when you put exciting and adventurous beside the other rebellious traits, it sends women into a tizzy.
Confidence is downright sexy! They wouldn’t be able to pull off half of the antics they do if they weren’t brimming with confidence. Bad boys aren’t just confident around their friends, either – their cavalier attitude is in everything they do; from the way they dress to the way they approach you!
The combination of confidence with a take it or leave mentality makes the talking part to women almost a given – considering the woman’s interest has already been sparked. Talking with them is just the part that reels them in and the bad boy knows how to tell her just what she wants to hear.
If they weren’t confident, rebels would not be the chick magnets they are. Instead of indifferent, they would be self-conscious and non-committal (how many women have you passed up because you didn’t think you were good enough?) – You see, rebels don’t care. Rising to the challenge, living the wild side of life, being something more than conservative, and keeping her guessing about you – and her – it’s an explosive combination!
Bad boys are often rugged and in-control. Most women I know want a man that makes her feel safe. Bad Boys aren’t scared to look someone in the eye, and stand up for what they believe in and believe it or not, they do still know how to treat a lady but sure as hell won’t let someone else disrespect his woman!
Rebels know how to talk to women because they are all of the above.
Confidence followed up with indifference, sprinkled with a little bit of mystery, intrigue and excitement is what attracts most women to start. That gets you the ‘in’ to talk with them – they’re interested, now you have to show them what you’ve got. Figuring those things out is the trick. Bad boys use their conversational skills to keep a woman interested and wanting more – and you can too.
Ask yourself, “when was the last time I took a walk on the wild side?” If you are asking yourself that question, then you obviously aren’t a rebel and if you want more attention from the ladies, maybe take a few of these tips and learn to color outside of the lines occasionally!
Im planning another PACKED SPEED DATING EVENT TARGETED FOR BLACK OR INTERRACIAL DATING at the Swagger Lounge conveniently located in Greenway Plaza Area off 59@Weslayan. Another happy hour that with opportunities to meet new single people and spend 5 minutes with them on a quick 1st date to see if the Pheromones are working and if the CHEMISTRY is undeniable…..but on the other hand, if you aren’t into them, then it’s only 5 minutes!
It is a LOW PRESSURE ZONE Ladies & Gents! That means that no one is allowed to ask the other for their number, email or social media contact. If there are MUTUAL MATCHES you will be notified within 30-45 days.
Great way to meet single people and Network with the SEXIEST YOUNG PROFESSIONALS at The Swagger Lounge. Free food, free entry and drink specials.
Giveways and contests – so call it a GIRLS NIGHT OUT AND FELLAS – GRAB THE FELLAS AND LETS DO THIS H-TOWN STYLE! IT’S TIME TO PUT HOUSTON ON THE MAP WITH THE HOTTEST WAYS TO MEET PEOPLE!!
In other news, I am also working on a an EPIC PHEROMONE PARTY (VALENTINES DAY VIEWING PARTY)……with Houston Social Source and the DATE IN FEBRUARY WILL BE ANNOUNCED SOON. The 1st time we did this party it brought us NATIONAL ATTENTION with ABC World News Program 20/20 WHICH WILL AIR ON VALENTINES DAY!!!!!
The PHEROMONE PARTY IS THE LATEST TREND IN L.A. & NEW YORK. FORBES NAMED HOUSTON THE COOLEST CITY TO LIVE IN A FEW MONTHS BACK, TIME TO SHOW IT!!!
We are always going to bring you the NEWEST WAYS TO MEET SINGLES. THINGS THAT WORK AND ARE AFFORDABLE.
Ending a relationship can be painful, shocking and very traumatic depending on the number of years that you spent with this person. There are some steps that you can take that will put you back on the road to recovery and soon enough you will start feeling like yourself again.
. 1. Grieve deeply and completely. As it was once said, you have to “let it burn”. You have to grieve because this is the death of your relationship and often times the loss of your best friend. It can be a trying transition going from being part of a couple to asking for a table of one. It takes time to process all the emotions that you will feel and you will have a lot of questions about why things when wrong even when the answer is clear. The 1st step towards recovery and getting your life back is to not bury your head in the sand and pretend that this relationship has a chance and that it is really over. Accepting the loss is the hardest part. It is human nature to want to believe that it can still somehow work out. No point in shooting a dead horse my Dad would say. He is right, it’s dead. Acknowledge the loss, cry, scream, shout, whatever you have to do to let go of the relationship and GRIEVE THE LOSS DEEPLY & COMPLETLY.
2. Grieve for the future you thought your marriage or relationship once had, which now will never be. Girls were taught since they were little to grow up and have the “dream”, the “fairy tale” that Prince Charming would come in and they would live happily ever after but in this case, it didn’t happen. When girls meet a guy they like they can become “dreamy” and start planning their entire future and imaging what their future would have been like with their guy, but when their dreams are shattered, it is hard to pick up the pieces and move on but part of recovery is not only grieving the loss of the mate, but to also grieve for “what could of been”. So many times people will stay in a bad situation or wrong relationship not because they cant get someone else, but because sometimes the hardest part of leaving someone is knowing when to STAY and when to LET GO. Let go of what “could of been ” too.
3. Identify and spend time with the people in your life who know how to listen to your feelings with complete love and acceptance. I know you are a strong person, but everyone needs someone to lean on sometimes. Keeping it all bottled up inside will potentially infect your heart with hate and you could eventually become the thing you despise most, jaded and bitter. Get a circle of friends that listen, support you and don’t judge you if you made bad decisions in this relationship. The last thing you need is a jealous friend or a hater trying to make you feel better.
4. Understand what happened in the relationship. Who knows how long it will take you to really reflect and find answers that will give you peace about what happened, but talking to to others that were privy to your relationship that can give you feedback could help.
5. Understand why you chose your former partner. People choose relationships for many different reasons, the most popular being “love.” But what many consider to be “in love” is not really love at all. Here are some of the reasons why people choose each other:
A deep need to be wanted
A lifelong struggle to meet someone and “save” them or “change” them
A fear of being alone
For the good of the children
If you can honestly examine and understand why you chose your partner, you’ll be able to see the beginnings of the breakup at the inception of the relationship. You’ll also start to build understanding to be able to choose differently the next time around.
6. Forgive your partner, forgive yourself. This is probably the toughest step of recovery is forgiving yourself for feeling so stupid that you picked the wrong person and then forgiving them for hurting you. You have to forgive. I am not saying forget, learn something from it. Next time, listen to your 1st voice, your intuition and don’t ignore the red flags and maybe next time if it doesn’t work out you wont have to beat yourself up so bad.
7. Create distance between you and your ex-partner. Distance in real life, on social media, or events where you know you have mutual friends. Just stay away because when you are going through your break up you are very vulnerable and may be tempted to do something that would not be in your best interest like fighting with them or even reconciling if the reasons you broke up were bad enough.
8. Create a supportive community. Sometimes when you feel the WORST is the best time to help others because it will HEAL YOU in the process.
9. Resolve to learn everything about yourself and relationships. What did you learn from this relationship? What was missing? Was there too much of something else? Each relationship is a learning experience. I know for me my last break up was because he cheated. It hurt like hell because I was faithful to him. We are both in the same industry and so I felt humiliated too but at the end of the day, I realized that I went into the relationship saying that un-loyalty or cheating was a deal breaker and so when you put that out there upfront and you don’t stand by it you are basically saying to them that it is okay to cheat and that you have low self esteem to think you cant do better than a cheater. I was confused at first because I believe in the law of attraction and thought that since I was a faithful person, I would attract that. However with enough time, I realized God doesn’t always work like that. I think that the test was for ME not him. I said I wanted a faithful man and so I was faithful in a long distance relationship, but although he wasn’t, I look back on it now and realize God was testing me to see what I would do when he lived 2000 miles away and it wasn’t as easy to be faithful. I can hold my head up high because CHARACHTER is what you do when NO ONE IS LOOKING! I am convinced I passed my test and now I am super excited about the man God will put in my life now because I passed my test.
10. Take great care of yourself in the process. Try not to stay in bed too long depressed. Get out of the house, even if its just walking outside and feeling the sun on your face. Try to eat healthy, don’t over eat or starve yourself. You only have one body and eventually you will be over him or her and then you abused your body for nothing. Get a lot of sleep and just relax until your heart has healed.
As the winner of the sexy lingerie door prize for highest heels strutted across the bar I knew I should have reviewed my low-light photography notes. Even so, I managed a few good shots as she paraded back up as volunteers helped her to the floor. Then came the prizes for men, as I caught a runner up for the largest shoe. I managed to qualify for being single longest, winning a $25 gift certificate from Cookie Seduction: not a bad prize, judging from the chocolate samples Master chef Mari Arrington offered me a few minutes earlier at her table just inside the Swagger Bar at 3839 Southeast Freeway.Then came the main event: the first speed dating mixer at the Swagger Bar. It was Friday October 19, and the evening was still young. Having been away from the bar scene for awhile, and knowing more than most care to discuss about on-line dating, I had heard of many of the latest trends and pitfalls of each. But speed-dating sounded different.
For many, the bar scene can be daunting, since the conversations often start with a focused “game plan” by at least one of two strangers, so there is always relatively high risk on the one hand, and the truth about identities, lifestyle, income, or careers is often missing in action. On-line dating makes it possible to “meet” people in the safety and quiet of one’s own home, but it can also be difficult to know whether a profile is genuine, and if so, whether there is any attraction to the other person when time comes to meet in person. So Matchmaker Amber Rountree Neal sought a “middle way.” Enter, “speed dating.”
The basic idea of a “speed dating” event is for singles to agree to a five-minute “interview” respecting basic ground rules. All participants register in advance with the sponsoring group, so males and females are about equal in number. A half-dozen tables for 2 were set aside for the session. No names, addresses, phone numbers or business cards are to be exchanged. But questions that can open up a window on personality are fair game. One suggestion “Suppose you knew you had only 6 months to live. Where would you spend them and what would you do?” After five minutes, the emcee announced time to move on to the next interview. Everyone scored the conversation and noted “yes” or “no” for further contact. The ladies remained seated and the gentlemen moved to the next interview table.
In little more than 45 minutes, everyone had talked with everyone and all the score sheets were turned in to the hostess for pairing. Meanwhile, guests were treated to a fantastic buffet, and a surprise glimpse at one of Houston’s newest entertainers, singer Amber Smoke
Realistically, no system is fool-proof, so it’s important to know how to size up any new person. Here, modern technology can be helpful for those who understand how to use it. A co-sponsor of tonight’s event was Tayarisha Joyce author of “Scope Your Date.” The website, http://www.scopeyourdate.com, offers an e-book to be available November 2, 2012, with advice on free leads to check to see if your new contact has “issues” that merit caution (deadbeat parents, sex offender lists, and more).
As Amber explained, with speed-dating participants actually see their new prospect, an advantage over Internet dating. On the other hand, five minutes is not too long if there is no “chemistry” and long enough to see if there is some initial interest. Of course, what happens next is up to each couple.
It’s the season to find someone special and fall in love!
Sign up for FREE to be in my database and only pay if I find you a match or you can hire me directly if you are not willing to leave your love life to chance and want to take control over your dating life and can hire me now if you desire.
I specialize in women over 35 however I match anyone.
This city is HUGE and most people live and work in the their certain areas of town and I encourage you to register because the man or woman of your dreams may live somewhere you wouldnt normally venture into and so you could be MISSING OUT on the ONE!
Stack the deck in your favor today!
INFORMATION ON SIGNING UP
When registering, we require two pictures—a body* and head shot taken within the last six months.*Body shots do not mean nude photos—it means tastefully dressed so we can assess your overall figure (translation: no big, bulky anything.)
REGARDING PHOTOS: We do not want to see what you looked like two years ago! Please tell us when your photos were taken (month and year), or anything you feel we need to know, i.e. “I recently got my hair cut and expect to have new photos taken within the next couple weeks.”
If only sending one photo, make sure it’s at least 3/4 body shot. We don’t accept cropped or group shots, unless it’s all you have for now. You can always send acceptable pictures later, if we request them. Otherwise, we’d like to see two well composed images of you alone. If you must send a temporary group shot, please tell us which person is you (we’re not mind readers.)
If you are approved for membership, we will contact you within ten business days.
IMPORTANT: There is no charge to apply, and we encourage you complete our application. You may be a good match for one of our outstanding clients. We’ll contact you either way and let you know. We take on board one or two women for each seven who apply, so you truly are exceptional if we ask to interview you.
To receive an application, please go to CONTACT ME and email me your headshot and basic information and we will send you the form.
Thank you for your interest in the MatchMaker Enterprises.