Amber Neal Presents

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TIPS TO GET OVER A BREAKUP

Ending a relationship can be painful, shocking and very traumatic depending on the number of years that you spent with this person. There are some steps that you can take that will put you back on the road to recovery and soon enough you will start feeling like yourself again.

. 1. Grieve deeply and completely.  As it was once said, you have to “let it burn”. You have to grieve because this is the death of your relationship and often times the loss of your best friend. It can be a trying transition going from being part of a couple to asking for a table of one. It takes time to process all the emotions that you will feel and you will have a lot of questions about why things when wrong even when the answer is clear. The 1st step towards recovery and getting your life back is to not bury your head in the sand and pretend that this relationship has a chance and that it is really over. Accepting the loss is the hardest part.  It is human nature to want to believe that it can still somehow work out.  No point in shooting a dead horse my Dad would say. He is right, it’s dead. Acknowledge the loss, cry, scream, shout, whatever you have to do to let go of the relationship and GRIEVE THE LOSS DEEPLY & COMPLETLY.

2. Grieve for the future you thought your marriage or relationship once had, which now will never be.  Girls were taught since they were little to grow up and have the “dream”, the “fairy tale” that Prince Charming would come in and they would live happily ever after but in this case, it didn’t happen. When girls meet a guy they like they can become “dreamy” and start planning their entire future and imaging what their future would have been like with their guy, but when their dreams are shattered, it is hard to pick up the pieces and move on but part of recovery is not only grieving the loss of the mate, but to also grieve for “what could of been”. So  many times people will stay in a bad situation or wrong relationship not because they cant get someone else, but because sometimes the hardest part of leaving someone is knowing when to STAY and when to LET GO. Let go of what “could of been ” too.

3. Identify and spend time with the people in your life who know how to listen to your feelings with complete love and acceptance. I know you are a strong person, but everyone needs someone to lean on sometimes. Keeping it all bottled up inside will potentially infect your heart with hate and you could eventually become the thing you despise most, jaded and bitter.  Get a circle of friends that listen, support you and don’t judge you if you made bad decisions in this relationship. The last thing you need is a jealous friend or a hater trying to make you feel better.

4. Understand what happened in the relationship.  Who knows how long it will take you to really reflect and find answers that will give you peace about what happened, but talking to to others that were privy to your relationship that can give you feedback could help.

5. Understand why you chose your former partner. People choose relationships for many different reasons, the most popular being “love.” But what many consider to be “in love” is not really love at all. Here are some of the reasons why people choose each other:

  • A deep need to be wanted
  • A lifelong struggle to meet someone and “save” them or “change” them
  • A fear of being alone
  • Infatuation
  • Material security
  • For the good of the children

If you can honestly examine and understand why you chose your partner, you’ll be able to see the beginnings of the breakup at the inception of the relationship. You’ll also start to build understanding to be able to choose differently the next time around.

6. Forgive your partner, forgive yourself. This is probably the toughest step of recovery is forgiving yourself for feeling so stupid that you picked the wrong person and then forgiving them for hurting you. You have to forgive. I am not saying forget, learn something from it. Next time, listen to your 1st voice, your intuition and don’t ignore the red flags and maybe next time if it doesn’t work out you wont have to beat yourself up so bad.

7. Create distance between you and your ex-partner. Distance in real life, on social media, or events where you know you have mutual friends. Just stay away because when you are going through your break up you are very vulnerable and may be tempted to do something that would not be in your best interest like fighting with them or even reconciling if the reasons you broke up were bad enough.

8. Create a supportive community. Sometimes when you feel the WORST is the best time to help others because it will HEAL YOU in the process.

9. Resolve to learn everything about yourself and relationships. What did you learn from this relationship? What was missing? Was there too much of something else? Each relationship is a learning experience.  I know for me my last break up was because he cheated. It hurt like hell because I was faithful to him. We are both in the same industry and so I felt humiliated too but at the end of the day, I realized that I went into the relationship saying that un-loyalty or cheating was a deal breaker and so when you put that out there upfront and you don’t stand by it you are basically saying to them that it is okay to cheat and that you have low self esteem to think you cant do better than a cheater. I was confused at first because I believe in the law of attraction and thought that since I was a faithful person, I would attract that. However with enough time, I realized God doesn’t always work like that. I think that the test was for ME not him. I said I wanted a faithful man and so I was faithful in a long distance relationship, but although he wasn’t, I look back on it now and realize God was testing me to see what I would do when he lived 2000 miles away and it wasn’t as easy to be faithful. I can hold my head up high because CHARACHTER is what you do when NO ONE IS LOOKING! I am convinced I passed my test and now I am super excited about the man God will put in my life now because I passed my test.

10. Take great care of yourself in the process. Try not to stay in bed too long depressed. Get out of the house, even if its just walking outside and feeling the sun on your face. Try to eat healthy, don’t over eat or starve yourself. You only have one body and eventually you will be over him or her and then you abused your body for nothing. Get a lot of sleep and just relax until your heart has healed.

 

As reported in the Examiner.com – 27Million viewers!!!

Speed dating comes to the Swagger Bar in Houston

Swagger bar is host to  first Speed dating event with Matchmaker Amber Rountree-Neal with co-sponsors Cookie Seduction and author of Scope Your DateThese heels won the prize and their owner modeled them by walking across the barAmber Rountree-Neal poses with Master chef Mari Arrington of Cookie Seduction 15 photosView the full slideshow »
This size 13 shoe was runner-up to a size 14 on the scene
 
 
As the winner of the sexy lingerie door prize for highest heels strutted across the bar I knew I should have reviewed my low-light photography notes. Even so, I managed a few good shots as she paraded back up as volunteers helped her to the floor. Then came the prizes for men, as I caught a runner up for the largest shoe. I managed to qualify for being single longest, winning a $25 gift certificate from Cookie Seduction: not a bad prize, judging from the chocolate samples Master chef Mari Arrington offered me a few minutes earlier at her table just inside the Swagger Bar at 3839 Southeast Freeway.Then came the main event: the first speed dating mixer at the Swagger Bar. It was Friday October 19, and the evening was still young. Having been away from the bar scene for awhile, and knowing more than most care to discuss about on-line dating, I had heard of many of the latest trends and pitfalls of each. But speed-dating sounded different.

Matchmaker Amber Rountree-Neal Introduces Speed-dating at Swagger Bar Oct 19 2012
Matchmaker Amber Rountree-Neal Introduces Speed-dating at Swagger Bar Oct 19 2012
Photo credit: 
photo by Marc Pembroke

 For many, the bar scene can be daunting, since the conversations often start with a focused “game plan” by at least one of two strangers, so there is always relatively high risk on the one hand, and the truth about identities, lifestyle, income, or careers is often missing in action. On-line dating makes it possible to “meet” people in the safety and quiet of one’s own home, but it can also be difficult to know whether a profile is genuine, and if so, whether there is any attraction to the other person when time comes to meet in person. So Matchmaker Amber Rountree Neal sought a “middle way.” Enter, “speed dating.”

The basic idea of a “speed dating” event is for singles to agree to a five-minute “interview” respecting basic ground rules. All participants register in advance with the sponsoring group, so males and females are about equal in number. A half-dozen tables for 2 were set aside for the session. No names, addresses, phone numbers or business cards are to be exchanged. But questions that can open up a window on personality are fair game. One suggestion “Suppose you knew you had only 6 months to live. Where would you spend them and what would you do?” After five minutes, the emcee announced time to move on to the next interview. Everyone scored the conversation and noted “yes” or “no” for further contact. The ladies remained seated and the gentlemen moved to the next interview table.

In little more than 45 minutes, everyone had talked with everyone and all the score sheets were turned in to the hostess for pairing. Meanwhile, guests were treated to a fantastic buffet, and a surprise glimpse at one of Houston’s newest entertainers, singer Amber Smoke

Realistically, no system is fool-proof, so it’s important to know how to size up any new person. Here, modern technology can be helpful for those who understand how to use it. A co-sponsor of tonight’s event was Tayarisha Joyce author of “Scope Your Date.” The website, http://www.scopeyourdate.com, offers an e-book to be available November 2, 2012, with advice on free leads to check to see if your new contact has “issues” that merit caution (deadbeat parents, sex offender lists, and more).

As Amber explained, with speed-dating participants actually see their new prospect, an advantage over Internet dating. On the other hand, five minutes is not too long if there is no “chemistry” and long enough to see if there is some initial interest. Of course, what happens next is up to each couple.

YOUR MatchMaker is IN THE NEWS!!!

Culture Map, Houston Press, Houston Chronicle, The Examiner, Channel 2, & 20/20 covered my event with HSS TONIGHT!! Not tryin to brag, just HUMBLED by the goodness of GOD. Wow. #moneyVSthemission

Mark the date!

20/20 will air their story on Valentines Day 2013 and Channel 2 will air their story on Oct 17th !!

 

SIGN UP FOR FREE TODAY!!

It’s the season to find someone special and fall in love!

Sign up for FREE to be in my database and only pay if I find you a match or you can hire me directly if you are not willing to leave your love life to chance and want to take control over your dating life and can hire me now if you desire.

I specialize in women over 35 however I match anyone.

This city is HUGE and most people live and work in the their certain areas of town and I encourage you to register because the man or woman of your dreams may live somewhere you wouldnt normally venture into and so you could be MISSING OUT on the ONE!

Stack the deck in  your favor today!

INFORMATION ON SIGNING UP

When registering, we require two pictures—a body* and head shot taken within the last six months.   *Body shots do not mean nude photos—it means tastefully dressed so we can assess your overall figure (translation:  no big, bulky anything.)

REGARDING PHOTOS:  We do not want to see what you looked like two years ago!  Please tell us when your  photos were taken (month and year), or anything you feel we need to know,  i.e. “I recently got my hair cut and expect to have new photos taken within the next couple weeks.”

If only sending one photo, make sure it’s at least 3/4 body shot. We don’t accept cropped or group shots, unless  it’s all you have for now. You can always send acceptable pictures later, if we request them. Otherwise, we’d like  to see two well composed images of you alone. If you must send a temporary group shot, please tell us which person is you (we’re not mind readers.)

If you are approved for membership, we will contact you within ten business days.

IMPORTANT: There is no charge to apply, and we encourage you complete our application. You may be a good match for one of our outstanding clients. We’ll contact you either way and let you know. We take on board one or two women for each seven who apply, so you truly are exceptional if we ask to interview you.

To receive an application, please go to CONTACT ME and email me your headshot and basic information and we will send you the form.

Thank you for your interest in the MatchMaker Enterprises.

 

IM PERFORMING – MARK THE DATE! OCT 26, 2012

Date:10/26/2012 Friday

Time:8pm, arrive by 730 to get seated

Address:Bam Bou in Rice Village

Parking:Free self parking

Cost: Tickets are $15 or 2 for $20!! 

To get your ticket go to CONTACT ME here on my website to get my personal email address & email me your name, number & the amount of tickets you want! I will deliver them!

Seating:Not assigned. The earlier you arrive, the better seat you will get!

What kind of a show? Rated “R”

Features Celebrity Headliner Rodney Bigham you have seen on HBO, Comedy Central, Bet & Showtime @ the Apollo.

Singles try to sniff out love in L.A.

Gallery

  • Martina Desalvo, left,  Konstantin Bakhurin, second from left, and Neelroop...
  • A partygoer smells a bagged shirt during a pheromone party, Friday, June 15,...
  • Konstantin Bakhurin, center, smells a shirt as Martina Desalvo, left, and...

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LOS ANGELES (AP) — Sniff your way to love? Singles who have attended so-called pheromone parties haven’t ruled it out.

The get-togethers — which have been held in New York and Los Angeles and are planned for other cities — ask guests to submit a slept-in T-shirt that will be smelled by other participants.

Then, voila! You can pick your partner based on scent, or so the theory goes.

The parties started out as an experimental matchmaking fest by a California woman weary of online dating, but it turns out they also have a root in science. Researchers have shown that humans can use scent to sort out genetic combinations that could lead to weaker offspring.

At a dimly lit art gallery in Los Angeles on a recent night, partygoers huddled around several tables covered with plastic freezer bags stuffed with shirts and an index card bearing a number. Once they found one they liked, a photographer snapped a picture of them holding the bag and projected it onto a wall so the shirt’s rightful owner could step forward and meet his or her odor’s admirer.

Konstantin Bakhurin, a 25-year-old neuroscience graduate student, said he bypassed the bags that smelled like baby powder or laundry detergent or perfume in search of something more unique: the owner of a distinctive yellow-T-shirt whose fragrance he described as “spicy.”

“I think it’s probably a bit more pseudoscience,” said Bakhurin, who attended with two fellow graduate students from University of California, Los Angeles. “I just kind of came here for kicks to see what would happen.”

The parties are a marked contrast to the proliferation of online dating sites, which demand countless details from singles, and in some ways are taking romance back to its most primal beginnings.

Judith Prays, a web developer who now lives in Atlanta, said she came up with the idea for pheromone parties after she failed to find a match online. Prays said she’d date men for a month or so before things soured until she started seeing a man who wasn’t what she was looking for and wound up in a two-year relationship.

What she remembered was his smell.

“Even when he smelled objectively bad, I thought he smelled really good,” the 25-year-old said. “And so I thought, OK, maybe I should be dating based on smell?”

At first, it was an experiment. Prays invited 40 friends to a party in New York and asked them to sleep in a T-shirt for three nights, put it in a plastic bag and freeze it, then bring it to the party. Bags were coded with blue cards for men and pink for women and numbered so the shirts’ owners could pinpoint their admirers.

The night was a hit, Prays said, adding that half a dozen couples hooked up and one pair formed a relationship. Since then, she has held similar parties in New York and Los Angeles and is planning others for Atlanta, San Francisco and perhaps elsewhere.

Many partygoers chuckled at the idea of finding a match in a smelly T-shirt. But that’s not to say there isn’t some science supporting the idea.

Research studies using similar T-shirt experiments have shown that people prefer different human scents. But whose smell they prefer is dictated by a set of genes that influence our immune response — which researchers say is nature’s way of preventing inbreeding and preserving genetic adaptations developed over time.

“Humans can pick up this incredibly small chemical difference with their noses,” said Martha McClintock, founder of the Institute for Mind and Biology at the University of Chicago. “It is like an initial screen.”

In one such study, McClintock and her colleagues had participants sniff inside a covered box without knowing that in some cases they were smelling worn T-shirts. What they found was people preferred the odors of those who had different genetic makeups from their own, but not radically different.

In Los Angeles, several dozen 20-somethings headed to the gallery at night in search of romance — or at least out of curiosity. They posed playfully for the photographer with shirts they liked, hoping the owner might step forward and say hello.

Few did. Some admitted they had seen their number flashed on the wall but were too shy to identify themselves.

But there was still plenty of chatter as beer-sipping singles turned up their noses at bags that smelled like hiker’s sweat and their aunt’s old carpet and took a second whiff of sweet and musky fragrances they liked but couldn’t peg — a playful exercise that served as an icebreaker to what otherwise could have been an awkward gathering of strangers.

Karen Arellano threw back her head and laughed after trying a handful of bags that reeked of sweat, coffee and even weed — but said she didn’t really come to the party in search of love.

“I don’t think I’m going to find anything more than, ‘Hi, how are you,’ a conversation,” the 29-year-old baker said. “That’s expectation enough.”

Prays said she’s also learned from the experience that while scent is powerful, it isn’t enough to detect a good match.

“Animals have babies and they move on, and that’s what the pheromone party is,” said Prays, who may start including a few pertinent details on the index cards, like a person’s relationship expectations. “The most successful thing about it is it opens up conversation.”

HOUSTON CHRONICLE TODAY!!!!!!! (About YOUR MatchMaker)

Sniff out your soul mate at a Pheromones Party Oct. 5

29-95 Staff at 3:10 pm on September 20, 2012

I would NOT like to smell you laterI would NOT like to smell you later

The folks at Houston Social Source, a social networking website, certainly think so.  And they’d like to prove it to H-Town when they team with comic and matchmaker Amber Rountree-Neal to host a Pheromone Party at Nouveau Antique Art Bar.

So what’s a pheromone party? It’s all the rage  in New York and Los Angeles.

First, the parties require homework. Participants must sleep in the same T-shirt for three nights. When out of bed, T-shirts are stored in plastic bags in the freezer. The tees (in the plastic bag)  then are brought to the party where members of the opposite sex will sniff them.

The idea is to let your sense of smell be your guide to love.

HSS owner Jennifer Huthmacher said in a release:

“This is really exciting for the Houston Social Source and for our city. We are proud to have been the first to introduce Houston to a new way to socialize, and now we are proud to be the first to introduce the Pheromone Party craze. We know it will be a hit.”

The party will be 7 p.m.-10 p.m. Oct. 5 at Nouveau Antique Art Bar, 2913 Main St. Admission is $5 for HSS members and $10 for guests if you reserve by Sept. 28.  The prices rise to $10 and $20, respectively after Sept. 28. Reserve your spot here.