I hear so many women complain that there arent any good men out there. Really? So all the good men got in a space ship & said F these bitches? We are OUT! Lol
I kid, but seriously? There arent any good men out here? I am living proof that there are.
Our grandparents and most of our parents – depending on what generation you grew up in really had it right.
Remember when women actually used to REQUIRE the ROCK to sleep with her man?
Now, its “what time do you get off”?
One thing you will learn quick in dealing with The Law of Attraction that I live my life by – that you get what you ARE not what you want.
I grew up in the women’s lib movement of the 90s and was a huge advocate. I was all about not needing a man. . It was when interracial dating became big and now, 1 in 5 relationships are Interracial almost 20 years later. I had bi-racial kids in the 90s when it wasnt as accepted but I believe in equality for all, regardless of race, gender or sexual orientation and the RIGHT to say who you are going to love in life.
I planned my daughter, but I was WOMEN POWER and decided I could do it on my own. Although her father and I lived together in a serious relatioship for a year and did plan to marry, ultimately, it didnt happen. We even planned our daughter. I chose the wrong guy. Because I was 21 and picked based on looks & some personality and he was not ready to be a dad. At that age, that’s immaturity for you. I didnt care, I was PRO WOMEN and would PROVE that I could do it by myself. I was now free to earn my own wages, receive an education and be a BOSS. We have proven that we can do everything a man can do, however there are somethings, if you would allow it, that it feels REALLY GOOD that you dont have to worry about anymore.
What I didnt realize is how HARD it was going to be – to be a single parent. The kids are the ones suffering the most. The stats on children without fathers is so depressing I wont elaborate more than to just say, our children are dying, going to prison, getting addicted to drugs, living a high crime lifestyle, failing classes, and so much more. The point is ladies, we were WRONG. We DO need men especially when it comes to raising our children! Its about family and giving our kids a healthy shot at having a better life and if we care enough about THEM to not bring them into a single parent home if it can be avoided and stop having such a casual attitude in regards to your booty call knocking you up. Or get on birth control. Use condoms. Stop being selfish and just living for the moment. It’s selfish. The right man is worth having standards for. He will adore that about you.
If it’s right, he will bring you peace, love and inspiration to your very soul.
He will protect you and provide for you. He will make sure that you are always treated like a Queen. Just know that if you want to be a REAL QUEEN, you have to be with a REAL KING. Your self emposed title of Queen dont count. That’s like a guy calling himself “Big Daddy” to me when I ask his name. I told one dude “If I put you in my phone as “Big Daddy”, it’s gonna be like “Big Daddy 38″ with his $2000 rims on his avenger talking about he wanted to take care of me and the was Ballin outta control, yet this idiot tells me he will call me tomorrow after he refills his minutes on his cell phone! The clues are there ladies! Lol! You cant be fake and expect to attract someone authentic.
It’s not about all the strife of competing for who is REALLY running the relationship. It’s okay to work hard, hustle, do your thang, but in a relationship, there can only be ONE leader. This doesnt mean you arent equal partners it just means that you ladies stand behind him and trust him to lead the way and fellas, always LEAD because if you are with the RIGHT woman, you know she will always have your back.
But what I found is once we started becoming like men in the workforce, we quickly picked up their sexcapades and then the BOOTY CALL was born and that is why AshleyMadison.com is the leading online site for married couples that want to have affairs. 80% of their clients are women. They made 60Million last yaer and are on track to make 100 Million this year. 80% of their clients are women. Shocking. Wow. We really have become just like men.
But the good news is that there are good men out there. Plenty of them. I meet them all the time. Ive seen couples fall in love and stay in love.
Strip away the car you want him to drive. Strip away the House you think he should have? The salary, the job, the fame, fortune, whatever. Put you and him together on an island. You are NEVER getting off. Would you want to be there? Or would you want to feed him to the sharks?
It cant be about things that can change like looks, money, status, careers or sex.
To begin to find the man of your dreams, you must first start within yourself. You must take a long hard look at all the things you want in a man and then ask yourself, am I offering the same thing back? Or are you trying to have control and be the boss all the time? Maybe you can let him lead. Maybe you have no idea how sexy it is to have a man that cares enough about you to pay attention to the details of things that he think might make you happy. Not only did he get a hotel for you in Manhatten, at a nice hotel none the less, but had the forethought to ask for a room with a view over Central Park. It’ s the fact that he cares enough to go the extra mile. You know why you attracted him? Because you are the kind of chick that will also go the extra mile for him.
You want somone to be faithful. Are you? Or have you kept a string of bad relationships? Does it always seem like you continue to pick the same “type” of guy? You are more than likely the common denominator.
Once you BECOME who you want to MEET. You will.
You can be independent. But men need to be respected, appreciated and needed. The worse thing you can ever say to your man is ” I dont need you”. Online dating has almost ruined marriage completely. The National Divore rate for 2012 is 75%. Crazzzzy! You wanna know why people use a MatchMaker is because the divorce rate in the MatchMaking Industry is less than 7%.
In my Decade as a MatchMaker, Ive carefully analyzed common factors and I’ve identified that the problem isnt just with the MEN ladies, It is with US too!
I really believe that Women’s Lib did create progress for women, but it also reversed the natural way a man and woman connect. He is a hunter Booty calls make it to where she is basically the deer that is laying down in front of the Lion. It wouldnt happen. Dont you know people want what they cant have? That is why Celebrities are famous and VIP section exists. You have to set yourself apart . You gonna be the HO or the HOUSEWIFE? Eventually you have to pick. And act accordingly. Just because you keep your skeletons in the closet doesnt mean they dont exist. You cant run from Karma. What you put out there shall return. Do you really want to be the WIFE or the SIDE CHIC? Are you ALL of the things you DEMAND in your mate? Hmmm?
You dont sleep with a man you actually like until you KNOW FOR SURE how he feels about you. Not what you “think” or “maybe” feel. KNOW, in your HEART, not the BS you lie to yourself about. Stop making excuses why they never call back or only call you when they want to use you and you call them too, but eventually you just wind up with high milege, an STD or so bitter that you stay alone. 2 rules I live by. People do what they want to to do and people do what you let them. Continue to repeat that and live by it and it will cut out a lot of garbage people in your life. People do what they want to do. So if he isnt coming home, calling, texting or being faithful, then that is EXACTLY what he wants to do. He will ONLY do it if you ALLOW him to. You really cant ask a man to respect you when you dont respect yourself enough to make him EARN your body.
Often times, when we meet a man, we are swept up, putting his last name with ours, thinking long term what life would be like if he was the one. Most of the time, he has a single focus. He is thinking about saying the right things to sleep with you. Even if they genuinly like you, sex is always in the forefront of their mind. Most men surveyed said that they judged a girl by how easy it was to get her to talk to him, let alone sleep with him, believing that however she handled him is a pretty good indication of how easily she would do that with another guy. You have to stand out! That means – if you LIKE HIM, make him EARN the lovin. Make him show you love & respect first! You made him stimulate your mind before you allowed him to touch your body.
However I think we need to take it down a notch and find a balance in the God given roles of a man and woman. It’s biblical. He is to lead, she is to be a helpmate. That doesnt mean he can abuse her, or mistreat her, infact, it says quite the oppostite. He is to cherish her and honor her and love her as Christ loved the Church. It’s about he is the Head of the House and a leader. If you disagree, then maybe you dont share the same Christian beliefs. That’s okay. Your perogative to think whatver you do! Im not here to convince you, just share what I know to be true. Lead fellas, come back. We do need you and Im not ashamed to say that It’ okay to let your man lead you. Just have the sense the good Lord gave you and have enough confidence in who you are and what you bring to the table. The bible says, he that findeth a wife, finds a good thing. He is the natural born leader. Trust him to lead. It is so comforting knowing he is a good man and he truly has your back and best interest at heart. Hold out for someone that is WORTH it. It says you are worth more than Rubies. Say that everyday anytime you think about it for 30 days and I promise you, even YOU will start to believe it and you will ATTRACT what you ARE.
Better believe it! Love to all! I love when people fall in love on my watch!
You have to match to the core. You have to be the same “type”. Birds of a feather truly do flock together.
If you dont have what you want in a mate. Check yo self b4 you wreck yo self!
<3 MatchMaker out…….
- BE AWARE OF HOW YOU VIEW YOUR NEW MATE.
- BE AWARE OF HOW YOU COMMUNICATE
- FIGURE OUT THE REASONS YOU ARE WITH THIS PERSON
- HOW LONG HAS IT BEEN SINCE YOUR LAST RELATIONSHIP?
If you just got out of a serious relationship and are already in a new one, then you may very well be rebounding.
If your last relationship ended on good terms and was short-lived, then this new relationship may not be a rebound.
Let it burn, trust me it is worth it. It is better to take time and heal than to take that baggage into your next relationship because it will be over before it starts. Don’t start a new relationship until you aren’t going to punish the new person for what the last person did to you.
Another thing to consider is what the two of you spend the most time talking about!
Are you talking more about the past than the future? Not a good sign. This is probably a rebound. However, I have seen couples that were dating and knew they were both fresh out of relationships and stayed “friends” with no pressure and eventually some of them worked out as a couple.
Think about the circumstances under which the two of you got together. Falling in love with the person you spent your time complaining and crying to about your ex is probably a disaster waiting to happen. A new relationship is one that focuses on the present and future and no so much on the past.
Lastly, think about how often you think about your ex and the feelings associated with these thoughts. If you can not say your ex’s name or see something that reminds you of him without hurting, wanting to throw dishes, or crying, then this is a sign that you are not over him. If you are not over your ex, then you are probably in a rebound relationship.
Dating is a process that a lot of us can live without, and it sometimes can seem like an emotional roller coaster trying to date new people with our busy schedule. That is where a MatchMaker comes in. My job is to help you identify what you like, break off negative patterns that may keep you in the same vicious cycle of meeting the same type of person over and over again! The most important thing a MatchMaker does is stretches you to be more flexible in your choices. So what if he’s a couple inches shorter than you like? So what if he lives 30 minutes out of the way? So what if she didn’t go to the right school? Sometimes we are so picky that we miss out on a lot of good people. Dating is hard enough without adding unrealistic expectations.
It is however, important that you understand dating ups and downs just go with the territory. As long as you are prepared, you can enjoy the ride a lot more! Here are some dating frustrations that many of us have gone through that can be avoided.
1) I got caught up in the moment and we kissed and then I never heard from them again!
Don’t beat yourself up over this one. There are many reasons the person didn’t call back, that don’t always have to do with you! So what, it’s just a kiss, good thing you found out now that they were a flake before anything else happened!
2) You are the 1st person to send the “had a great time” text the next morning and again, no reply!
I’m sure everyone had a great time, but maybe “IT” wasn’t there for them. Again, this is when you need to keep it moving.
3)NO MENTAL POST DATE RECAP ABUSE!
Don’t spend your time TORTURING yourself or your friends going over and over the date to see what could have went wrong if they don’t call back. You will never know what they are thinking unless they call and if they don’t – move ON to the NEXT ONE!!!!
4) No Voice Mail Obsession please! You’ve recorded your voice mail and listened to it about 8 to10 times. Keep it simple. “Last night was fun, I have a really funny story to share with you when you call” – keep it LIGHT.
5) Honestly, who cares what they think?Don’t change who you are. I find that people are always sending their “representative” to the date and then they wonder why things fall apart in 3 months. BE YOURSELF. Maybe they have the same quirks as you. You just might be surprised at how great it feels to be accepted for who you are not who you think they want you to be.
6) Never, I repeat NEVER give your power away to another person. Whatever issues this person has that causes them not to call you back, that is their issue. You never get your worth from another HUMAN being. You may have to toughen up a little if you are dating because rejection also goes with the territory. You are only compatible with 3% of the people you meet, so odds are they wont like you. That’s not a bad thing, it just means you have to kiss some frogs to find your prince unless you have a MatchMaker filtering the candidates for you.
7)You have to BE what you WANT. So many people have unrealistic expectations for themselves as well as their dates. Your 350 credit score and his 350 credit score is not how you get to 700. Are you offering what you are demanding? Time to do a gut check. Are there any areas of your life that you are expecting things that you aren’t giving?
At the end of the day, you don’t have to hold onto a date or relationship that isn’t working for you. It really is NOT the end of the world if they don’t work out. You have options. Stop telling yourself that this is the best you can do. Do not settle. However in order not to settle, you have to know what you want. Take some time between relationships to find out what you like and be honest with yourself about what you NEED from a partner and identify if you are giving those same things. Take your time. Dating is casual until you get into a relationship so stop acting like this date will make or break your life. It’s JUST a date. There are plenty more where that came from. RELAX.
There are two simple rules you can live by that will make your life simple.
1) People do what they want to do. Stop making excuses for them. If they don’t call, MOVE ON.
2) People do what you let them.
Apply these two rules and you will save yourself a lot of headache and heartache! It’s when we IGNORE these rules is when we get our heart in trouble!
<3, The MatchMaker Amber Neal